Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Nipple Rings On Men: Faux Pas Or New Hipster Cultural Norm?


Well my concerned readers it's that time again; time to understand the rationale of the great Devin. A long time ago, before I even knew this fine young fellow he decided to get the most interesting of body modifications. What we are talking about of course is having a metal needle of a semi large gauge being inserted into Devin's extremely masculine titties. I'm not sure what led him to this but my research has led me to believe that it happened in his rebellious days when he was full of early twenties angst. I also have come to find that his actions may have been influenced by this great hard rock album.

After he underwent his near life threatening body modification surgery he became a changed man, he found a new love for life being a more cultured and angry youth. He walked shirtless everywhere strutting his jewelry for everyone to see. He had a certain pep in his step, knowing that he could conquer all Pabst drinking challenges because that's what a young man does to rebel.
Sadly however, slowly he began listening to new music and drinking classier man beverages and his interest in the piercing world dwindled. As his mind knew he was no longer into his earlier interests his body literally rejected these obsolete objects of fashion. One at a time his nipple excreted each ring til none was left. As a personal belief I don't like to dwell on the past and don't care to reminisce about Devin's past. I have come to love his non metallic nipples and grown up personality. Easy come easy go they say, right?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Curse of La Croix!

Today we start off with a photo shoot with possibly the most terribly dressed gentleman that I've ever seen whom is my dear friend Devin, and the Christmas tree sweater advocate who shall remain nameless so no unwanted attention will be drawn him. I want all of my readers(which I'm sure there are many) to have their eyes opened to a growing phenomenon that is engulfing the hipster world; and of course Devin is no exception. That phenomenon that I speak of is of course ironic outfits at your Pabst themed party! As courtesy to everyone I'm going to dissect this photograph so it can be known how NOT to dress.
For issue number one we will talk about Devin's exposed midriff, which while super manly it sends the wrong message to those trying to make intelligent conversation with him. Or perhaps its the Santa vest? Whichever it may be I am appalled that as a friend I let him wear this. Nonetheless his positioning of his shirt so highly above those "pants" kind of reminds me of Alicia Silverstone in Clueless.
Onward to my second topic of discussion we will examine Devin's choice in booty shorts. Personally I feel that he chose these in order to perform some sort of mating call to equally ironically dressed females by making his bulge known to all. Unfortunately for him I think this backfired because the common reaction to his attire was that of fear when the unsuspecting conversee accidentally caught a glimpse of his protruding scrotum.

The point of this post was to shed light onto the fashion world of Ternus L. Ternus which is predicted to be huge in Sweden for 2013.